Taking the plunge ....

I know this is very poly-anna of me, but I believe if you care for someone you care for them. Long hair, short hair, fat, thin, You love who someone is. Not what they look like.

You might be at first attracted to the outside wrapper, which is fine, but it is the inside you love, it is who the person is, and that they stand by you and with you through thick and thin.

It is who they are that you love, not just the pretty wrapper. After all you love them every bit as much holding them in the dark, as gazing at them over breakfast

Awh.

((((((Tiger))))))

The hardest thing about dating is getting a glimpse behind the masks we all put up to get by. For that reason the best place to meet people you might like to date, are when they are doing something that requires they show you.

Working with them is one way, if you are involved in any organizing in the community, or volunteer work, that is another great way to meet people. Athletics or other hobbies that allow you to play and compete are also great ways to find out if people have that little something that makes you start to hunger to learn more about them. If the real chemistry is not there when the mask slips as they follow their passion, there will be no chemistry when you seek to ignite a lasting passion between you.

Dating is like fencing, each person attempting to probe the others defenses while struggling to conceal their own secrets and weaknesses. When I was younger, the stalk was all. The seduction, playing the game, really seemed important. When you are older the game is just awkward and stupid. It is easier to get to know someone first, and then decide if you want to date. Granted this goes against the whole "get laid tonight at all cost" directive that seemed to dominate dating phenomenon for the first few decades, but honestly that lost its charm long before I found something better.

TED, have you ever considered historical re-enacting? Long-haired people are the norm! Most of my male friends from that world have long hair....it would be weird if they didn't. Of course, you need to have a love of history first....

Beribee wrote:TED, have you ever considered historical re-enacting? Long-haired people are the norm! Most of my male friends from that world have long hair....it would be weird if they didn't. Of course, you need to have a love of history first....

Can you make money doing that?

Beribee wrote:TED, have you ever considered historical re-enacting? Long-haired people are the norm! Most of my male friends from that world have long hair....it would be weird if they didn't. Of course, you need to have a love of history first....

This is so weird you mentioned that, because I'm looking into it as we speak.

TigersEyeDowsing wrote:

Beribee wrote:TED, have you ever considered historical re-enacting? Long-haired people are the norm! Most of my male friends from that world have long hair....it would be weird if they didn't. Of course, you need to have a love of history first....

This is so weird you mentioned that, because I'm looking into it as we speak.

My brother-in-law does historical re-enacting. Mostly civil war stuff. He loves it.

Can I join too, I love re enactments. They are fun and I love the authenticity of the sets and clothing.

wontgetfooledagain wrote:Interestingly enough.. someone told me that churches are a great place to meet women. The number of single women far outnumber the single men. I suppose I could give up my atheism... lol ... but.. I just can't do it.

So... any advice .... where do I begin?

Help...

Rob

Um, have you thought about Unitarian Universalist churches? I'm not trying to push religion or church or anything,,,,,,

BUT,,,,UU is a very social atmosphere, and you can believe anything or nothing,,,,many have singles clubs, etc,,,,,

That is a good opportunity, Holly - and UU has young women! (My faith is mostly 50+). If I didn't have a faith I'd probably try going there.

Hmm... never thought about that.. I'll have to look into it. One of my sisters (also an atheist) used to got to a UU church... I'll give her a call.. and see what she thinks.

If you're under 30 the "spiritual but not religious" gals (what I'd prefer) are like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... really hard to find. They're either religious (egads) or don't think about it at all (makes conversation difficult).

Then again I also live in North Carolina where the IQ drain sucks the life out of most people

There is something frightening about a state having an IQ drain

The thing is.. I have no issues dating someone who is spiritual.. (I think I am in my own way..) and also don't have any issues dating someone who is religious.

Fundies might be a problem though..

Rob

I think you are too, Rob (spiritual). I don't know how much I would mind dating a religious person, but I'm definitely gunshy of Christians. I hear that word and I bolt for the door unless there's further clarification.

Hey Rob

Just checking in to see how it's going.

Oh ok, I wanted to add my two cents as well darn it... but before I do, let me say "good for you for moving on with life and also for not rebound dating."

I'd suggest to avoid dating sites as, imho, it starts potential relationships off in a poor way, basing them on illusions.... fantasy. I'm sure it works for some, but for me it's a waste of time and energy (and in some cases, money.) Same thing with going someplace solely to catch a fish as it's not authentic; and for you I'd strongly advise *not* going to a church to find a date/mate. It might start out fine, but what happens down the road when things get serious and she's wanting you to take a 'Promise Keepers bible course' or send kids to Bible camp. (BTW, even UU's can be annoying this way - I've bumped egos over political issues with more than one UU and it was just as raunchy as bumping egos with a fundie)

So my humble suggestion is to go with what you love and be as authentic as possible. The most magical moments happen when you are doing something you have passion for

My last love, who I am still very connected to, I met while doing a flute gig (I played Ave Maria - he still talks about it) If my motive would have been any other reason than rendering the purest tone, the moment would not have had the power it did.

So Rob, what do you love in life? Go out and live it with passion - create your own alchemy and make profound memories.

You'll have a fantastic time, and the chicks will follow

~Linda

Sakhaiva wrote:Hey Rob

Just checking in to see how it's going.

Oh ok, I wanted to add my two cents as well darn it... but before I do, let me say "good for you for moving on with life and also for not rebound dating."

I'd suggest to avoid dating sites as, imho, it starts potential relationships off in a poor way, basing them on illusions.... fantasy. I'm sure it works for some, but for me it's a waste of time and energy (and in some cases, money.) Same thing with going someplace solely to catch a fish as it's not authentic; and for you I'd strongly advise *not* going to a church to find a date/mate. It might start out fine, but what happens down the road when things get serious and she's wanting you to take a 'Promise Keepers bible course' or send kids to Bible camp. (BTW, even UU's can be annoying this way - I've bumped egos over political issues with more than one UU and it was just as raunchy as bumping egos with a fundie)

So my humble suggestion is to go with what you love and be as authentic as possible. The most magical moments happen when you are doing something you have passion for

My last love, who I am still very connected to, I met while doing a flute gig (I played Ave Maria - he still talks about it) If my motive would have been any other reason than rendering the purest tone, the moment would not have had the power it did.

So Rob, what do you love in life? Go out and live it with passion - create your own alchemy and make profound memories.

You'll have a fantastic time, and the chicks will follow

~Linda

Also, he's hot.

LOL!

sacrificialgoddess wrote:

Also, he's hot.

are we talkin 'hot' or 'hawt'

TigersEyeDowsing wrote:

Beribee wrote:TED, have you ever considered historical re-enacting? Long-haired people are the norm! Most of my male friends from that world have long hair....it would be weird if they didn't. Of course, you need to have a love of history first....

This is so weird you mentioned that, because I'm looking into it as we speak.

What time period are you looking into? I do F&I and Rev War.

What is F&I?

French and Indian War?

Was looking at Colonial Williamsburg.

As strange as it sounds, We get a lot of Victorian around here. Well, that, and wild west shows.