Married longest?

Wife and I just made it four years...and she celebrated by getting sick. (She celebrated our honeymoon in the hospital, almost dying, so it fits that she'd get sick on our anniversary.)

THis is my third marriage. Could be I'm a slow learner.

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:9 years now. Engaged for 4 years before that.

all

Four year engagement? That's a long time.

We wanted to get through undergrad first. If we were both studying at the same time, in the same house, we probably would have killed each other.

Damn, looks like I'm still on the uphill slope. There is no magic in a wedding ring that you don't both put into it, but the day one stops trying is the day that it begins to die. The only thing that remains is the other person figuring that out.

We've hit some bumps along the way, but with both of us still striving, our marriage was able to come out stronger. Had either one of us decided to coast, I can honestly say some of the bumps were quite enough to open the wound the marriage would have bled out from.

SeventhCrow wrote:Wife and I just made it four years...and she celebrated by getting sick. (She celebrated our honeymoon in the hospital, almost dying, so it fits that she'd get sick on our anniversary.)

THis is my third marriage. Could be I'm a slow learner.

Oh hell, my father's been married FIVE times,,,,,,,this one seems to have stuck,,,,,,,they've been married 26 years. The first 4 lasted from a few months to a couple years (my mother).

John T Mainer wrote:Damn, looks like I'm still on the uphill slope. There is no magic in a wedding ring that you don't both put into it, but the day one stops trying is the day that it begins to die. The only thing that remains is the other person figuring that out.

We've hit some bumps along the way, but with both of us still striving, our marriage was able to come out stronger. Had either one of us decided to coast, I can honestly say some of the bumps were quite enough to open the wound the marriage would have bled out from.

I know what you mean. Two big things that I learned from my father were "It takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one to make it fail." and "there is no such thing as woman's work, or man's work, there is simply work that needs to be done."

Of course, I think I was about 6 or 7 at the time, so I had no idea what he was saying, but they did stick with me anyway.

all

ItsAllALie wrote:

wontgetfooledagain wrote:I was married for 18 years, and have been divorced now for 4 years.

I have two beautiful children as the result of that marriage. And this is probably strange to those of you who are divorced.. but I'm attending my ex-wife's wedding this year... and have become good friends with the guy she is marrying.

Rob

I heard somewhere that the greatest gift a man could give his children is to love his children's mother,,,,,

I'm not suggesting that people stay married "for the sake of the children",,,,,the opposite in fact,,,,,one of the best ways we can "love" someone, sometimes, is to let them go, show respect, and care about their happiness,,,,,,,

Staying married for the sake of the children is a mistake in my opinion. First, you are not doing them any favors. My ex and I had thought about staying together until both our kids were out of high school... but kids are smart.. they know when things aren't going well. When the time came to tell both of our kids that we were getting divorced.. it was no surprise at all to them.

It's an incredible gift to your children that you can "love" (read: respect, value, befriend, show decency, forgive, etc) your ex-wife,,,,,,,

I'm not going to kid you, divorce is difficult.. no matter how much respect you may have for the other person. It's a painful process, but one that we had to go through. Four years ago would I even think that it would be possible for me to attend her wedding.. let alone become friends with her fiancé? No... I never thought anything like that would happen. But time does heal wounds....

But... through it all, we have always seen eye to eye on our kids. We both have tried to maintain a "normal" family life with them. That is.. I still attend family events on my ex-wife's side of the family.. and she attends events on mine. We both got along great with our in-laws... and still do.

Life goes on...

Now.. if only I can find someone for me, again. Can anybody fix me up?

Rob

wontgetfooledagain wrote:

ItsAllALie wrote:

wontgetfooledagain wrote:I was married for 18 years, and have been divorced now for 4 years.

I have two beautiful children as the result of that marriage. And this is probably strange to those of you who are divorced.. but I'm attending my ex-wife's wedding this year... and have become good friends with the guy she is marrying.

Rob

I heard somewhere that the greatest gift a man could give his children is to love his children's mother,,,,,

I'm not suggesting that people stay married "for the sake of the children",,,,,the opposite in fact,,,,,one of the best ways we can "love" someone, sometimes, is to let them go, show respect, and care about their happiness,,,,,,,

Staying married for the sake of the children is a mistake in my opinion. First, you are not doing them any favors. My ex and I had thought about staying together until both our kids were out of high school... but kids are smart.. they know when things aren't going well. When the time came to tell both of our kids that we were getting divorced.. it was no surprise at all to them.

It's an incredible gift to your children that you can "love" (read: respect, value, befriend, show decency, forgive, etc) your ex-wife,,,,,,,

I'm not going to kid you, divorce is difficult.. no matter how much respect you may have for the other person. It's a painful process, but one that we had to go through. Four years ago would I even think that it would be possible for me to attend her wedding.. let alone become friends with her fiancé? No... I never thought anything like that would happen. But time does heal wounds....

But... through it all, we have always seen eye to eye on our kids. We both have tried to maintain a "normal" family life with them. That is.. I still attend family events on my ex-wife's side of the family.. and she attends events on mine. We both got along great with our in-laws... and still do.

Life goes on...

Now.. if only I can find someone for me, again. Can anybody fix me up?

Rob

Well the way I see it, you have two options. 1. Have the ex set you up; she will have your best interests at heart, or 2. Marry Cap!

sacrificialgoddess wrote:

wontgetfooledagain wrote:

ItsAllALie wrote:

wontgetfooledagain wrote:I was married for 18 years, and have been divorced now for 4 years.

I have two beautiful children as the result of that marriage. And this is probably strange to those of you who are divorced.. but I'm attending my ex-wife's wedding this year... and have become good friends with the guy she is marrying.

Rob

I heard somewhere that the greatest gift a man could give his children is to love his children's mother,,,,,

I'm not suggesting that people stay married "for the sake of the children",,,,,the opposite in fact,,,,,one of the best ways we can "love" someone, sometimes, is to let them go, show respect, and care about their happiness,,,,,,,

Staying married for the sake of the children is a mistake in my opinion. First, you are not doing them any favors. My ex and I had thought about staying together until both our kids were out of high school... but kids are smart.. they know when things aren't going well. When the time came to tell both of our kids that we were getting divorced.. it was no surprise at all to them.

It's an incredible gift to your children that you can "love" (read: respect, value, befriend, show decency, forgive, etc) your ex-wife,,,,,,,

I'm not going to kid you, divorce is difficult.. no matter how much respect you may have for the other person. It's a painful process, but one that we had to go through. Four years ago would I even think that it would be possible for me to attend her wedding.. let alone become friends with her fiancé? No... I never thought anything like that would happen. But time does heal wounds....

But... through it all, we have always seen eye to eye on our kids. We both have tried to maintain a "normal" family life with them. That is.. I still attend family events on my ex-wife's side of the family.. and she attends events on mine. We both got along great with our in-laws... and still do.

Life goes on...

Now.. if only I can find someone for me, again. Can anybody fix me up?

Rob

Well the way I see it, you have two options. 1. Have the ex set you up; she will have your best interests at heart, or 2. Marry Cap!

LOL.. actually my ex has been trying!! LOL.. but something about that just feels weird.

As for Cap... are you talking about Maine? If so.. I could only hope to be so lucky.

That is who I am talking about. She needs a good man. You are people's exhibit A.

(((((((((SG))))))) You are such a sweet lady

Let's see, my first ex-wife and I have been at least civil, and usually friendly since we split up. My second ex-wife and I have been friendly since we split.

Indeed, she tracked me down a while after we split (she wanted the divorce) and apologized to me. She'd figured out that I wasn't responsible for her unhappiness and that she was just lashing out at me rather than dealing with her personal issues. Not that we're actually compatible for long-term day-to-day living, so it's best we're not married.

The current wife...well, she keeps trying to tell me I love her. I have to keep reminding her that I don't even like her--I just tolerate her a little bit. Prolly throw her out next week, I will. To the curb, I tell you!

SeventhCrow wrote:Let's see, my first ex-wife and I have been at least civil, and usually friendly since we split up. My second ex-wife and I have been friendly since we split.

Indeed, she tracked me down a while after we split (she wanted the divorce) and apologized to me. She'd figured out that I wasn't responsible for her unhappiness and that she was just lashing out at me rather than dealing with her personal issues. Not that we're actually compatible for long-term day-to-day living, so it's best we're not married.

The current wife...well, she keeps trying to tell me I love her. I have to keep reminding her that I don't even like her--I just tolerate her a little bit. Prolly throw her out next week, I will. To the curb, I tell you!

And people wonder why you have relationship problems.

SeventhCrow wrote:Let's see, my first ex-wife and I have been at least civil, and usually friendly since we split up. My second ex-wife and I have been friendly since we split.

Indeed, she tracked me down a while after we split (she wanted the divorce) and apologized to me. She'd figured out that I wasn't responsible for her unhappiness and that she was just lashing out at me rather than dealing with her personal issues. Not that we're actually compatible for long-term day-to-day living, so it's best we're not married.

The current wife...well, she keeps trying to tell me I love her. I have to keep reminding her that I don't even like her--I just tolerate her a little bit. Prolly throw her out next week, I will. To the curb, I tell you!

You are a stinker, you are.

Congratulations Omar !!!!

No doubt about it. Omar Wins!!!

Congratulations Omar!!!! That is terrific!!

sacrificialgoddess wrote:

And people wonder why you have relationship problems.

I've figured out my relationship problem. It's women. They're bad for me.

sacrificialgoddess wrote:No doubt about it. Omar Wins!!!

He was a quick learner!

SeventhCrow wrote:

sacrificialgoddess wrote:

And people wonder why you have relationship problems.

I've figured out my relationship problem. It's women. They're bad for me.

Well, you don't strike me as the type to switch sides, so I guess you have a problem there.

Exactly!

OmarKhayyam wrote:I accept.

Thank you very much,



We still say when asked, "We never thought about divorce, just murder."

and it's so freaking hilarious BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!!!