Throwing out LAST year's TRASH....HEAVE HO!

I know I have been both busy, & lazy. Life has been stressful yet envigorating. Times have been better & times have been worse.
I apologize for this is so late, but in case any one needs to try to release or get a firmer grasp on their spirituality, or nudged back on the course they strayed off of. Questions, Re-nashing, turning it around & inside out, kicking it around, self talk, & of course reaching out or sitting quietly by just reading remarks, or replys. You are invited, one & all.
Here is the place to vent, fume, & kick yourself in the ass!

What was the year 2010? Really? I lost it? I didn't claim it? Was it swallowed into space, or blocked like a bad experience? Physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually....2010 was not the best of times. Most know where I was headed, & where I ended up physically last year. Emotionally? 2010 was a roller coaster ride that thank goodness came to a well deserved smooth hault. Mentally? I wouldn't of traded my ups & down with my worst enemy, nope not fit for humanity in any way shape or form.

But will you let me tell ya gang??? Spiritually? I can't put my finger on it, I can't describe it. I am lost. Empty, isn't the word either. Void? Thats the same as empty isn't it? Well? Isn't it? It was like my soul, my essence of life left on vacation, & didn't even tell me it was leaving or if & when it would return. I was way out on a limb, ready to cling to the branch, which is oh so tiring & ending up casting off with the wind. I'm still working my way back or forward trying to find where I hit that wall, or fell down the hole of no return.
I'm open for suggestions on maybe where to start.
Has anyone felt this way?
If so, what did you do?
Should I put my time, energy & effort into chasing/finding out the answer?Should I retrace my steps? I don't know, anymore.

Willow, my 2010 felt very much as you've described. I feel like I'm just starting to wake up and am realizing that I've been floundering for a very long time. I think I suffered from depression, to be honest.

My kids poor grades (that slipped from good grades) ... my messy house.. my inability to stick with any commitment.....I totally floundered my way through 2010. After being laid off from my recent job in January, somehow my eyes opened and, instead of feeling overwhelmed (which causes me to go into hiding) for whatever reason I've been pulling things together. Painfully slowly, but things starting to move.

First I got my house in more order one thing at a time.... it's not perfect but it's better. I just wanted to be able to have company over (gone are the days when I held yoga classes in my home, loooong gone.) I was actually able to have some female friends come over a few weeks ago, and I was very proud about that.

Then I sat the kids down and reassigned chores (this time making sure they get done) because I want us to build new habits. Plus, it's too much to expect me to do every little thing with no help.

Third... I dug out the 7 Habits book and am rereading it. (Zach is reading the Teen version for school, while I have the Family version.) We're trying to all get on the same page and think up some goals. Small goals that we can accomplish... nothing impressive, really.

I've been practicing my flute daily and am working on finishing those unfinished projects piled around my home. They are not perfect, but I just want to see them done. In 2010 I let my physical health go, have not been doing much hiking and virtually no Yoga/meditation or church. So I've started taking walks and have challenged myself to do 21 consecutive days of Kundalini Yoga including restarting my morning pranayama and prayers.

And that's just it... one little thing at a time, setting little goals I can fulfill, slowly trying to build new habits and deal with my apparent fear of commitment and/or depression. Feels like trying to start an old car that's been in the garage for a few years.

Hi Willow. I've been off for months myself. Doing my own brand of soulsearching. What with all the medical problems recently, the problems with Michael & other matters. I'm doing better now healthwise. I've posted something in another section. The one right after the Welcome site. Give my best to that old grumpy John. ( Boy is he gonna get me back )