Relationship advice

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Hoo, boyee...well, at least this one is more articulate and polite than the previous ones.

Deja vu all over again otherwise...

Didn't read the site rules, didya? NO ADVERTISING.

I think what we have here is called a drive-by...

I think so, too, SG.

If a person has problems by themselves, why do they think that another person will solve them?

Hmmm...All you reminded me of a news story I saw last week about a guy who'd met a woman through E-Harmony, and despite all their perfect matchy-matchy techniques, ultimately discovered that she was a sociopath with a criminal record longer than all their arms put together.

A tv reporter where we used to live reported on her attempt to do a story on E-H. It didn't get very far. She took their personality inventory, she said, and was rejected as not being "a happy person."

Let's see...you're miserable because you're lonely, so you flunk their personality test as a result and then feel even worse. That would certainly get a person nowhere fast and more than likely out a wad of cash for the privilege of finding out what you already knew.

Oh and remember, gays don't get to use e-harmony because they don't have as many personality dimensions.

I don't really think that they are miserable because they are lonely.

I think that they are miserable because they are miserable, and choose to blame it on the fact that they are lonely, because that is easier than looking at the real cause.

Fact of the matter is, they are probably lonely because they are miserable, not the other way around. I wouldn't think that anyone is going to want to be with a miserable person. One needs to find the reason for their misery, instead of thinking that a relationship will cure it.

all

Good point. I agree.

Been there, did that myself once. Doesn't work, you're right.

I filled out all the eharm. questions once, I was told they did not have anyone like me. I took it as a compliment. I am "uni e Q"

It does stink how they will not allow gay people, but I did not find that out until after I filled everything out, or I would not have patronized them in the first place.

I discovered years ago, that no one likes a miserable person or a whiner. Everyone has bad times and has a right to vent, but if it is all you do, friends will be harder to come by.

I've done the E harmony thing as well. IMHO, its way over-scewed towards religious compatibility. They "matched" me with all these people of "like-faith". Not one had a four year degree; let alone a doctorate.

I don't want to intellectually dominate a relationship-btdt

My mom could hold a conversation with anyone... she was a high school graduate.
Degrees don't mean intellectually superior... it just means more school.

My husband is well on his way to his Master's. I have no degree, at all. We have wonderful conversations. He does not dominate our relationship, intellectually or otherwise.

Might've passed up a great match, Dave.

My hubby is more than a match for me intellectually, and he's only got some community college hours. Never even got an associate's degree.

As for compatible, we think alike freakishly sometimes, which tends to work very well indeed when how to spend money issues arise. We've hardly ever disagreed in the slightest on those in fifteen years.

But then, we're admittedly both of us pretty freakish any way you look at it.

MC: Did you ask them for a certificate to prove that you're unique? Not that we didn't already think so, but still it's nice to have the credentials sometimes.

thats certainly possibly

my experience has been otherwise

when you make offhanded references to Descarte, Hume, or Aristotle and all you get is a huh? that derails a conversation and makes you give a short course in humanities every 5 jminutes it gets disheartening

DotNotInOz wrote:Might've passed up a great match, Dave.

My hubby is more than a match for me intellectually, and he's only got some community college hours. Never even got an associate's degree.

As for compatible, we think alike freakishly sometimes, which tends to work very well indeed when how to spend money issues arise. We've hardly ever disagreed in the slightest on those in fifteen years.

But then, we're admittedly both of us pretty freakish any way you look at it.

MC: Did you ask them for a certificate to prove that you're unique? Not that we didn't already think so, but still it's nice to have the credentials sometimes.

I gave them all a chance. Thats the problem.

I agree, Dot. Like your husband, my oldest daughter, 16 years old, junior in high school, is intellectually superior to many adults.
As I said, degrees don't mean intellectually superior, only more educated.

My dad, didn't even graduate from high school until he was 35. He was one of the most intellectually superior people I've ever known.

If you can't hold a conversation with a person who is not as educated... are you really the "superior" one? Adaptability is vital.

Davelaw wrote:

DotNotInOz wrote:Might've passed up a great match, Dave.

I gave them all a chance. Thats the problem.

Yeah, I fully understand how that would get tedious in no time at all.

I've had more than my share of people rudely remark to me online and off, "You talk like an English teacher. Can't you use words NORMAL people understand?"

DotNotInOz wrote:

Davelaw wrote:

DotNotInOz wrote:Might've passed up a great match, Dave.

I gave them all a chance. Thats the problem.

Yeah, I fully understand how that would get tedious in no time at all.

I've had more than my share of people rudely remark to me online and off, "You talk like an English teacher. Can't you use words NORMAL people understand?"

Methinks, another age of know-nothingism will be soon upon us. And it will unfortunately be lead by my political and spiritual allies.

tmarie64 wrote:I agree, Dot. Like your husband, my oldest daughter, 16 years old, junior in high school, is intellectually superior to many adults.
As I said, degrees don't mean intellectually superior, only more educated.

My dad, didn't even graduate from high school until he was 35. He was one of the most intellectually superior people I've ever known.

If you can't hold a conversation with a person who is not as educated... are you really the "superior" one? Adaptability is vital.

The complaints all come from my end; If I could not communicate-how could I persuade Juries?

Davelaw wrote:
Methinks, another age of know-nothingism will be soon upon us. And it will unfortunately be lead by my political and spiritual allies.

This is why I like Dave. A hefty dose of realism.

Davelaw wrote:
The complaints all come from my end; If I could not communicate-how could I persuade Juries?

And who wants to be in a relationship with someone you have to instruct every time you mention an intellectual icon?

That's one thing I definitely value about hubby. He knows more Latin than I do, having participated in the NYC Latin competition. I think he said his team won or at least placed quite high.

My Latin is pretty much limited to things like "Confiteor deo omnipotenti. Beate Maria semper virgine...etc." along with the standards like Adeste Fideles.

DotNotInOz wrote:

Davelaw wrote:
The complaints all come from my end; If I could not communicate-how could I persuade Juries?

And who wants to be in a relationship with someone you have to instruct every time you mention an intellectual icon?

That's one thing I definitely value about hubby. He knows more Latin than I do, having participated in the NYC Latin competition. I think he said his team won or at least placed quite high.

My Latin is pretty much limited to things like "Confiteor deo omnipotenti. Beate Maria semper virgine...etc." along with the standards like Adeste Fideles.

my Latin is limited to legalese and Economic and Philosophic truisms (ergo sum proctor hoc) ect.. but it leads to an example and then I will shut up- my ex gf recently graduated from an online University-she called to tell me she got her diploma and it had Summa Cum Laude written on it-"what is that and is it a good thing"?

DotNotInOz wrote:
My Latin is pretty much limited to things like "Confiteor deo omnipotenti. Beate Maria semper virgine...etc." along with the standards like Adeste Fideles.

I can hum along-does that count?

Davelaw wrote:

DotNotInOz wrote:
My Latin is pretty much limited to things like "Confiteor deo omnipotenti. Beate Maria semper virgine...etc." along with the standards like Adeste Fideles.

I can hum along-does that count?

Naw, 'fraid not. The tune's the same for both Latin and English versions. Sorry.

Davelaw wrote:my Latin is limited to legalese and Economic and Philosophic truisms (ergo sum proctor hoc) ect.. but it leads to an example and then I will shut up- my ex gf recently graduated from an online University-she called to tell me she got her diploma and it had Summa Cum Laude written on it-"what is that and is it a good thing"?

Hooooo boyee!