Heathen Humour

Thor was riding his goat drawn chariot across a thunderstorm looking for giants to smite, when he passed over a Wiccan festival, and beheld a circle of maidens dancing naked in the storm. Overcome with lust, he descended and approached them clad in nothing but his mighty hammer. Great merriment ensued to sounds of lusty crashing thunder.

The next year he was passing over the festival again, when he saw the same maidens waiting eagerly. When he descended, they all gathered around him and began ripping off his clothes, crying out that the last time had been the best sex of their lives. Thor finally admitted to the little Wiccans that it was not mortal sex, it was godly sex, for he was the mighty Thor!

“Your thore?” lisped one of the girls while kissing her way down his chest
“None of uth could swallow or walk right for weeks!”

The gods were gathered in Asgard, passing the horn in bragaful. Tyr claimed that he had sacrificed the most, for he had lost his hand to Fenris, and even Thor fears to go looking for it. Odin was not to be outdone, and announced that he had sacrificed far more, for he had lost his eye in the underworld, and only the Norns can find it. Freya laughed loudly at both of them, taking the horn in her fine hands she licked dripping mead from the horn’s length before taking a deep draught.
“I clearly have sacrificed the most”
“I gave my virginity to the Vanir and and not a night goes by that someone isn’t up there looking for it!”