Appearance

This is kind of linked. But I don't really know where to put it. I was watching "What Not To Wear" the other night and they were saying, and so were the friends of the person, that the reason the woman couldn't get a date was because of the way she looked and the clothes she wore (men's baggy clothes). I watched while she was aggressive and cursed like a sailor in one of those speed dating things and that probably had a lot to do with it too.

Only it did seem like they were very related. When she finally wore clothes that fit and had a good hair cut and wore make-up, she did act differently toward men and other people too. Maybe she was the other way because of lack of confidence?

Do we unconsciously sabotage ourselves in the workplace and in relationships by the clothes we wear? Are people unaware of how they really present themselves? Would you change the clothes you wore if you were told that it was holding you back at work or in your personal life?

There is an old saying that Clothes make the man. I totally believe in it too. At least at work. Personally I see someone who takes time to dress approprately (business casual no jeans or sweats or Tee-Shirts) has a better focus on work and will generally take pride in their job more (generally). if I interview a person and they show up in jeans or something slutty I wont even bother to interview them. Yes its true they could be a fine chemist, but I find it as a professional insult that they didnt even bother to dress appropriately.

Unfortunately we are a visual society. We are conditioned to make quick snap decisions on a persons threat to us from visual impressions.

Clothes and our exterior appearance are direct reflections of our inner confidence in my opinion. but, its a catch 22. you need the confidence to wear the clothes, and the clothes build the confidence. I see it more in women than in men. They crank out a few puppies, the hubby is unattentive so they just give up. I hear it all the time .. . "I'm married, my husband should love me unconditionally so why bother to look nice". While this is true, we should constantly strive to be attractive to our partners. To show them we still find them attractive and desireable by looking nice. My girlfriend is always put together even at home and I tell her every day how pretty she is and how much I appreciate that she wants to look nice for me.

I agree. There is an middle aged woman at work who, although slim, does not wear clothes that fit (way too big) and they are very cheap looking which she wears in unattractive (read strange) combinations (they have a lot of money BTW). Plus she has a very bad haircut, one of the worst I've ever seen. When she has gone to help someone, I've seen the reaction to their first sight of her on their faces.

She told me that she doesn't want to give the wrong impression to our patrons by wearing nice clothes but honestly the impression that she gives is that she is a very odd duck and I don't think that is the impression she thinks she is making. She has also confessed that her husband would really like for her to wear nice clothes. She just smiles and shakes her head over his strange ideas. Why would she do that?

I think that many people just are unable to see how they look, perhaps?

I think some people think they look good when they do not. We view ourselves much differently than others do. I often come home and the girlfriend will say something to the effect "Please tell me you did not wear that to work, do I need to dress you ?" mostly because I dont match or something. How many people do you think actually look at themselves in a full length mirror every day before they leave ? not many I would wager.

Vorrin wrote:How many people do you think actually look at themselves in a full length mirror every day before they leave ? not many I would wager.

Well, ummm...I do to be sure that everything is where it's supposed to be...no tags sticking up or out, cuffs straight, collar not turned weirdly...that sort of thing.

But then, I think women are more conditioned socially to make sure that every little thing looks as it should.

Way back when we had to wear a skirt or dress, it was checking to be sure your slip wasn't showing.

Now, I look to be sure the extra five pounds that I hadn't noticed until I pulled on my favorite pair of slacks haven't put the slacks into "stuffed sausage" category.

Ah, the delights of impending old age!

And then you reach that age where you check to be sure your breasts are where they're supposed to be.

Oh. Right. itty does the check. Uh oh...excuse me for a few minutes....

TigersEyeDowsing wrote:And then you reach that age where you check to be sure your breasts are where they're supposed to be.

That's why I buy expensive bras. You get the support you pay for, and Wal-Mart bras ain't it.

High five, Dot! One of my daughters was really blessed in the breast department and insisted on buying cheap bras, thinking there was no difference, and tended to have the uniboob syndrome. She finally went to a good undergarment store, where they fitted her and she has never looked better. It turns out she had not even been buying the right size for herself.

I've read that something like 80% of women are buying the incorrect size.


"..Isadora was the first bra burner, aren't you glad she showed up!"

It's true! My daughter thought she was a 36D and she was a 32F.

Gilly She must have such a tiny frame!!! That must have quite an effect on her back?How does she find bras to wear? Jeepers!

She has strong theater ties and there is a bra maker/company that makes all the underwear for Broadway and the theater world. They fitted her and it has made such a difference both in her self-confidence and her health - back in other words. It no longer hurts now that she has correctly fitting bras. They don't look that large either.

I am glad she found a healthy, comfortable garment, that's great.
That is so important.

I was shopping for a new bra several years ago and told the clerk what size I wore. She glanced at me and said, "I'd suggest a cup-size larger."

At age 40-something, I was still wearing the size I'd worn in my late teens. She was right! After that, not only did my bras fit but they were far more comfortable...funniest thing!

I think such foolishness is akin to wishfully believing ourselves still a size 6 when the tape measure says, "Nuh-UH, honey! It's actually a size 14!" (Which assumes we let anyone with a tape measure close enough to us to determine that's the case...)

You want to know something weird? (probably not )

My bra size has gone down. I haven't a clue why, don't want to know.

"We must, We must, We must increase our bust! The bigger the better, The tighter the sweater, The boys like it better, And so we must!"

Oh thanks a lot

You bad thing

I actually am a "the smaller the better" kinda guy. Backerd's, I know.

You big silly

TigersEyeDowsing wrote: I actually am a "the smaller the better" kinda guy. Backerd's, I know.

Of the school of thought that more than a mouthful's a waste, are ya?

DotNotInOz wrote:

TigersEyeDowsing wrote: I actually am a "the smaller the better" kinda guy. Backerd's, I know.

Of the school of thought that more than a mouthful's a waste, are ya?

Yup, yup, I have to confess. A's are excellent and B's are better, C's take consideration.

And Ds?

Dangerous.