Homosocial Pressure: So Men, WTF?

Greetings Everyone!

http://www.alternet.org/sex/151583/sex_with_a_stripper_before_your_wedding_how_men_sometimes_cheat_just_to_impress_other_men/

"The big take-away from Dutton’s piece is undeniable: the sexual behavior of even the straightest of guys is driven by the need for other men’s approval."

In reading the above article, a few questions come to mind. Of all these questions - for me - one surfaces the highest: regarding homosocial pressure, "Why do men get off on men getting off, especially when the challenging act(s) can/will ruin other relationships (let alone spread disease)?

Thoughts?

its all in Plato

and its all anecdotal; so its bad science

Having been with the same woman for 15 years with out cheating, I have no idea.

I'm not sure anyone could pressure me to do something I don't want to.


all

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:I'm not sure anyone could pressure me to do something I don't want to.

I think it does boil down to this.... you know All, I think you are one of the few people who really knows what *freedom* is. You know how to stay true to you.

I'm not sure I agree with the article at all; "A gentleman does not kiss and tell" has been my approach to relations. I'm also a firm believer in monogamy (as it applies to my romantic relationship), and can not abide hypocrisy. I'd be the first person to tell you that monogamy isn't for everyone; and I remain convinced that people who have no business getting into a monogamous relationship, shouldn't get into a monogamous relationship.

I've always felt that guys who cheat at their bachelor party are not REALLY committed to the woman they are marrying and don't REALLY want to be. My husband has never been "pressured" into doing anything he didn't want to do. I'm sure he's never cheated, 22 years and counting, just as I have never. The idea has never even appealed to either of us.
I didn't buy that bullshit "peer pressure" argument 34 years ago when I was in the 8th grade and all my friends "needed" to be "going steady" with a boy. I thought it was stupid and didn't do it. I sure won't buy the argument when it comes to full grown adults (notice I didn't say men) cheating on the women they supposedly love enough to marry.

Bachellor parties serve a purpose, its your last hurrah as a single man. If you find you have no problem doing your "hooter-shooters" with the entertainment, you have proved to your buddies that married or not, you are as much a man as you ever were. If you are actually tempted by a stripper at your bachellor party for more than just whetting your appetite, you were going to suck as a husband anyway; bail now before you ruin an unknown number of lives proving it. If you still enjoy looking, but only desire your bride to be, then you are going to have a successful marriage, (once you get done throwing up and rehydrating for a few days of course )

Absolutely, John. It's normal to look and find someone attractive. I see people every day that I think are gorgeous. But I'd never dream of doing anything with them. As I'm sure everyone in here has.

I've never been able to understand a man? cheating on his spouse. I've been married for almost 35 years come this August 7th. Not once have I ever thought of cheating. It's just not a matter of trust but also one of commmitment. Anyone who's been maried for decades will tell you that it always wasn't easy. There were times when you felt like strangling the other & then telling God they naturally died because they pissed you off.

WoK, It's also a matter of we truly LIKE our partners. We disagree with them, but we like them.

True Tina. PB&A is also my best friend & soulmate.

Yep. All the love in the world won't hold a marriage together if you don't LIKE each other. Or any relationship, for that matter.

I've always figured in either one of the partners cheated, it was because the relationship was already over, and they wanted an excuse to end it.

Granted, Mrs. Bear can royally peeve me off sometimes, but I've never wanted to end the relationship.

I don't get those that want to end a relationship before it even starts....

From my understandings, the "bros before hos" homosociality is more the norm than not.

Most people I know though in my generation have no desire to marry, though, and are more sexually fluid. My married or partnered girlfriends send their husbands off with strippers to get a break, lol. I really think this 'traditional marriage' stuff is phasing out, from what I've read.

I think the aspect are just becoming more polarized.

TED, where you live isn't representative of the rest of the south.

gillyflower wrote:TED, where you live isn't representative of the rest of the south.

Well, that's true too.