Under the eye

There is a reason that many heathens are a lot more cautious about oathing to Odin than their Wiccan cousins; we actually read the lore and understand what drawing the attention of the Feeder of Ravens can mean. For the last week I have had that feeling that I was under the eye; that I had drawn the attention of the Battleglad. To be close to your god is theoretically a good thing, and emotionally a good thing. To know that you have drawn the attention of the Father of the Slain is no comforting thing.
Last Friday I had to deal with a medical emergency at work, and due to renovations my usual wonderful first aid room was less than its best when I needed it to be. Things turned really serious for the fellow involved but I am good at what I do, have more experience than I like, and the Wise Counsellor was with me, so it ended well.
This Friday I had another walk in. His complaint was minor, but the Victory Father was whispering to me, so I called 911 while I began his assessment. I assessed him as I dispatched, and by the time I was a half minute into the assessment with the 911 operator I had enough to justify an ambulance, pushing toward RTC. The fire department was on site in what has to be a stupidly short time, like they were on the block when I called. He tried hard to die, we tried harder to argue the point, and won.
All honour to my instructors down these many years, who armed me for the task. All honour to my father, to my NCO's in military service who made sure I would always be the one to take the tough calls, and have the balls to back my instincts when lives hung in the balance. All honour to the fire department, whose amazing (cannot stress enough) response time and absolutely smooth ability to hand off to myself and to the ambulance assured that a full team was caring for my casualty through his arrest, with the kind of outcome you cannot guarantee even when all goes well. Praise to the ambulance attendants who didn't waste time duplicating our efforts or second guessing our assessments in a time when seconds turn out to matter. Much thanks to every one of the construction contractors who enabled me to get a hold of this renovation workers actual employer to get the medical information we needed but he could no longer share.
It is dangerous to live in the Gallows Lord's eye. To stand in his sight is to know that lives hang on your decisions. To have the Victory Giver, the Finder of Truth whispering in your ear when life is on the line is to know that should give your all, victory can be yours. For those who belong to the Battle Glad, we would rather have it be us that face the test, rather than let another bear the stress of battle, or the cost of defeat. While there is no suggestion he would hesitate to get us killed in his service; he does not send us where we cannot win in the doing.

I want to be a simple man.

I want things to be spelled out.

I want a clear understanding of what should be done.

I want to live a simple life.

The truth is, I am not and do not.

I am a healer, and warrior.

I am a man that has a hearty laugh, breaks into song, and sends a mugger running away with a look.

I am a man of great patience, yet decisive action.

I want to belong to the red beard.

I belong to the feeder of ravens.

I need to face this.

There are both part to us, one we like, both we need. He knows both, and is the best teacher about worthy uses of all parts of our nature.

Very true.

Growing is hard.

But worth it....